Fixin' what Lizzie Broke

So I guess its not totally normal to still be in a whole lot of pain six months after having a baby. Nate made an appointment for me with my OB last month since I kept putting off calling him. I just figured it would get better. I just pushed a bowling ball out of there for goodness sakes, of course its going to hurt for a while, right? I suppose it is a good thing Nate called, because my doctor said that I needed surgery.

When I delivered, I had 2nd degree tears and needed stitches. Well, apparently my body decided it didn't want to heal correctly. I had what is called a fistula, which I had never heard of before now.

So on May 21st, I went in for surgery. They put me completely under for it. I was really nervous about that part, but also glad for it because it didn't sound like something I wanted to be awake for. The last thing I remember was the nurses putting my arms straight out at my sides. Next thing I know, I'm awake and the nurse told me the surgery was over.

I was pretty groggy for a long time. Then I was nauseous and ended up throwing up twice at the hospital and once at home. Not pleasant! Especially after having surgery where I did! Coughing, laughing, and blinking too hard hurt quite a bit. Okay, maybe not the blinking part.

I didn't get to go home until 7:30 or so. I walked in the front door and saw my beautiful baby girl playing on the floor with her Grandma Judy. Lizzie just looked up at me and smiled so big! I missed her so much! And I swear she looked older since the last time I had seen her around 1:00 PM. Then she started fussing because she wanted me. I sat on the couch and just held her and she hugged and cuddled with me for the longest time. This was my favorite part of the day.

Since the 21st, I've been in a good amount of pain. I don't like the pain pills because they make me feel "whooshy." Pretty much light headed and nauseaus off and on. But if I don't take the pain pills, I can barely walk. So yeah.

Family Nap Time

This Memorial Day we hung out at home and spent time together as a family. Nate made me breakfast and went all out: pancakes, eggs, turkey bacon, hash browns, toast, and Simply Orange orange juice. Delicious! When we got Lizzie down for her nap, we laid down for one too. Twenty minutes later, Lizzie was awake and ready to play.

So we brought her into bed with us. She lay between us, playing with my ear rings, pulling my hair, trying to pry my eye balls from their sockets. I got her back by hugging her and tickling and kissing and cuddling her. Nate slept. Overall, it was a really great family nap time. =)

Goodbye Apie!

Apie, by the way, is the nickname that Grandma Dianne gave to Elizabeth's apnea monitor. ;)

Today someone from Children's Home Health came and picked up the apnea monitor! At her last check up, her doctor said she could be done with it! So I'm glad for a couple of reasons: its easier getting her ready for bed, she's more comfortable at night without the band around her chest, no more worrying about false (or real!) alarms, etc.

But I'm also nervous! I liked having that extra protection, the extra monitoring, just in case something were to ever happen. Even though nothing did since her first "episode." Except for one false alarm, according to the doctor, that scared the crap out of us. Also an alarm went off because something got disconnected. But running in there thinking your daughter isn't breathing to find out something with the wires was off - augh! Such a relief but I think my heart skipped a few beats!

And both of those alarms were within a couple weeks of being done with the apnea monitor. We realized that one of the wires attached to her chest band got stretched somehow, so that is probably what caused the alarms.

So it is bittersweet saying goodbye to Apie. It was really nice having you here, but I'm not totally sad to see you go.

And hey, we'll always have the AngelCare!

Before I was a Mom

This sounds about right.

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or
not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of
my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests
or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby
just because I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of having
my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom.

-Author Unknown

7 Months old!

My shrimp of a daughter

We went to Elizabeth's check up today. She weighs a whopping 13 lbs 4 oz. Apparently that is less than the 3rd percentile. 97% of babies her age are bigger than her. She is 26" long though. We are going back in a month for a weight check. So for now we are trying to get some more chub on her legs!

My First Mother's Day

I love being a mom. I'm sure it helps that my daughter is the coolest person I've ever met. =)

(Due to the finger on the flash and the off-center-ness of the picture, I'm pretty sure my husband hasn't grasped the concept of a good picture yet. I'm working on it!)

Box Picture

Every time I see this picture, I have to smile. This was taken February 2, 2008 and I got my BFP on February 13th (my b-day!). When this picture was taken, I was already pregnant and just didn't know it yet. I had no idea my life was about to change so drastically. No idea how my life was about to completely turn upside down. No idea just how much I would love my new upside down, crazy life.

Its funny how a picture of me and my husband being dorks and sitting in big boxes would become so significant and important to me!