Happy 1st Birthday, Anna!

Dear Anna,

Today you turned one!!  Baby girl, that is so hard to believe.  You were just born!  It was only yesterday that I held you for the first time!  Except... it wasn't.  It was a year ago.  Wow.

You know, there were times when your Daddy and I were undecided about having another baby.  Your sister has always kept us pretty busy!  But we decided to go for it and I got pregnant. We are so blessed! What I didn't know until I held you was that there was this Anna sized hole in my heart before I had you. You were missing from my life and I just didn't know it yet.  You, sweetheart, are in my heart and my soul and I simply can not imagine my life without you in it. 

It has been so much fun watching you grow up this past year.  You went from a teeny, tiny baby, so dependent on your mama, to a little girl who loves to explore the world around her.  I love watching you play and climb and dance your way through the day.  I love celebrating each new milestone you reach and watching your mind work as you learn new things.  

Your smile is breathtaking.  Seeing those dimples.... it instantly makes me happy. Your giggles and laughter is the sweetest sound.  I pray that you are always this happy.  People often comment about how you are such a happy girl, that you are very easy going.  This is so true and yet, you know exactly what you want!  You are definitely a girl with opinions of her own.  I also pray that you always stay true to that and that you always go after what you want!

I have so many hopes and dreams for you and your sister.  God has a purpose for you and I know you both will do amazing things.  I hope you follow your dreams and are never afraid to be who you are. I hope you know that you are never alone.  I will always, always be here for you, sweet girl.  Whether you need a kiss on an owie or a hand to hold if you are scared or a shoulder to cry on if some guy is ever stupid enough to break your heart... I'm here.  You are so loved, baby girl. 

You are growing up so fast.  I blinked and you turned one.  I'm so afraid to blink again!  I'm trying my best to slow time down, but no luck so far. 

I love you so, so much, Anna.  I am so very blessed to call you mine.

Love,
Mommy

Birthday Girl :)

Happy Birthday, baby girl!

Anna updates!

Where did the time go?! Anna will be ONE in A MONTH!

I have totally failed at keeping this thing up to date. I am too busy chasing around these pretty girls, I guess!
Anyway, Anna turned 11 months old today! She is getting way too big. We started trying to teach her to raise her arms when we ask her how big she is. As in, "Soooo big!" She will sometimes raise her arms up and flap them around like a bird. It is a start!

My little girl is still pretty little. She weighs about 16 lbs, which I believe is how much her big sis weighed at 11 months. But Anna seems to have a little bit more baby chub on her legs. Not much though!

Anna LOVES eating. Loves it. She eats anything I put in front of her. She eats the fruit and veggie purees I make for her and also little finger foods. She also loves her puffs and yogurt bites. I wonder how long this non-picky thing will last...
ALSO! She finally got a tooth! Like, today! It finally poked through! It looks like there are a couple more that are going to poke through soon too. Eleven months old and girlfriend got herself a fancy new tooth! This might explain her HORRIBLE sleep habits the last few nights. Which brings me to...

Anna hates sleep. Or at least hates having a decent amount of consecutive hours of sleep. We thought Elizabeth was a terrible sleeper! I can count on one hand the number of times she has slept through the night. (I can probably count them on 3 fingers.) At least Lizzie would have a few weeks here and there where she would sleep all night.

Anna still wakes up around every 3 hours. Sometimes more, sometimes less. The last few nights, there were times where she would wake up every half hour. The only real change is the time that she sleeps. We went through a stage where she wouldn't go to sleep until 3 or 4 in the morning. That one was rough. Then for a while it was between 12 and 1 AM. Right now, for the most part, she goes to sleep between 10:30 and 11:30, which is so significantly better. The time is coming soon where she will get "sleep trained." I'm already dreading it.

Anna is still nursing, which I am super proud of. My goal is a year, just like with Elizabeth, and we are almost there!! I ended up nursing for 14 months (and one day) with Liz, so we'll see how long I can go this time. I am worried about my supply though. The tricky thing with breastfeeding is you have no idea how much they are actually getting. Also, since Anna never sleeps, I haven't been able to get an extra pumping session in the middle of the night to build up my freezer stash. So my "stash," which is in quotes because it can't really be called a stash, is about 4 bottles worth. Not good!

I think she's getting pretty close to walking. Not tomorrow or anything, but soon-ish. She can stand for several seconds at a time, then will slowly sit down (or sometimes plop on her butt).  She walks around as long as she is holding on to something, like the couch or my fingers.

I think Anna's favorite game lately is fetch. She throws something, we fetch it. It is hilarious! For now, anyway. Even if I'm not handing her something, sometimes she'll reach for whatever is in my hand(for example, her binky), and then throw it on the floor.

OH, and she also sticks her tongue out now when I do!  It is super hilarious. 

Since I have been such a failure at updating this thing, here is a list of random "Anna Firsts" that I have stored on a note in my phone. Hey, at least I did that!

• At 3 weeks 5 days, she smiled! 
• At 8 weeks, she giggled.  Such a beautiful sound!
• November 10th - 2 months old - she rolled over from stomach to back
• January 1st - 3.5 months - she found her feet! Love this.
• At 4 months old, she cried when I leave the room.  Don't love this so much.  But I do a little bit.  She's a mama's girl. :)
• January 26th - 4.5 months - she rolled over from back to stomach
• March 3rd - almost 6 months - ate baby food (baby oatmeal) for the first time!
• 7 months old - rolled everywhere!  She could roll across any room.  Also, she could sit up unassisted, but tipped easily.
• 7.5 months - Pulled herself up to sitting position all by her little self.
• Around 8 months - she pulled herself up to her knees
• Also at 8 months, she started waving bye bye! Sort of.
• At 8.5 months, she pulled herself up to her feet!  She also began crawling on May 25th!  Look out world.
• At 9 months old, she started saying "Bup!" all the time.  Love love love it.
• 9.5 months - she started dancing!!  Also, she started giving high fives. So cute.
• July 19th - 10 months - she stood up on her own for 2-3 seconds at a time. 

LOVE this little girl!!!

Mom of Two

There are many differences between being a parent of one and a parent of two.  There are the obvious differences, of course.  It takes longer to do... everything.  It takes longer to go anywhere.  There is so.much.more laundry. WAY more toys.  A lot more messes. SO much less sleep.  And of course, more love and cuddles and hugs and little feet to kiss.

But one of the biggest differences of being a mom of two for me, is that I am now so acutely aware of how quickly the days, weeks, months, years fly by and just how warped time is when watching your baby grow up.  When Elizabeth was a baby, I just kind of took it for granted that the baby stage lasts forever.  Or at least a very, very long time. 

Then I blinked and Elizabeth turned 4 1/2 the other day.  How did that happen?  How has it been 4 1/2 years since I held her in that hospital bed after pushing her out for two hours? 

 

Every single day I look at Anna and know that this time is so, so limited.  She will only be a baby for such a short time.  She is growing so very fast. She is 7 1/2 months old today.  The baby stage does NOT last forever or for a very, very long time.  It flies by at warp speed.  And then? They aren't babies anymore.  Ever again. 

So for now I cuddle and kiss and relish in the baby that she is today.  Because she'll be big all too soon.

____________________
This next part is a piece of a blog post from Jill at BabyRabies.com.  She wrote a letter to her 51 year old self and I can relate to every word. (Here is the link to the entire blog post.)

Even though you were tired and challenged, exasperated and overwhelmed, you knew then that you would miss these days…most of them, at least. It was a truth that was hard to live with, and most of the time you ignored it because there was nothing you could do about the passing of time. If you spent your days mourning the ones that had gone by, you’d miss out on the days you were living in.

You knew you were on a light rail, moving at speeds you couldn’t comprehend. You had no control over the ride that brought you to where you are today, but believe me when I say you searched so very hard to find the emergency brake.

Please know, please remember that you tried to savor that time. Be at peace, knowing you spent late afternoons curled up with them on the couch, that sometimes you just sat and watched them move and run, that occasionally you took inventory of all the things they’d learned in the last week, and that you appreciated your time with them the best you knew how. Know that despite your very best efforts, there was no way to freeze time.
I promise you, you tried.

Happy 1/2 Birthday, Anna!

Anna is 5 months old!

Big Sister

When I was pregnant with Anna, I was quite nervous about how Elizabeth would take having a new baby in the house.  I was expecting jealousy, anxiety, regression, some sort of adjustment period...  I kept expecting the jealousy to just show up one day, for Lizzie to be mad that Anna is getting more attention or pissed that she is playing with one of HER toys, or for Lizzie to ask the question that I feared the most... "Can't we put her back in??"  So far....

Elizabeth meeting Anna for the first time. 

I am totally blown away with how awesome Elizabeth is with Anna.  She exceeded all my expectations of how life with an infant and older sibling would go. Seeing them together makes my heart go all melty.

At first, Elizabeth kept track of how many times she held Anna.  Like, "This is my very first time holding Anna!" and "This is my 8th time holding Anna!"  Then she would tell everyone who would listen that she had held Anna however many times. I think she lost track around 12 or 13. 

The first time Elizabeth held Anna. 

I believe this is Lizzie's second time holding Anna.

And now a bunch of random thoughts thrown together with bullet points:

• She does her "job" of bringing dirty diapers from the living room to the diaper champ in the nursery (she will say, "Oh, I have a job to do!" whenever she sees a diaper sitting there. Hilarious.) 
• She insisted on buying Anna the really expensive teether giraffe named Sophie, and basically makes sure she has it at all times because she knows Anna loves it so much (she actually does seem to really enjoy the dang giraffe). 
• When Anna fusses, Elizabeth has said many times, "Anna, why are you crying?  You have a big sister!" 
• She loves holding Anna's hand, or rather, she loves when Anna holds her finger.  Every time she says something like, "Mom, look!  Anna's holding my finger! Take a picture!" 
• After Anna was born, even when we were still in the hospital, Elizabeth would climb on the couch, put a pillow in her lap, and hold her arms out.  That was her way of saying she wanted to hold her sister.
• I told Elizabeth that it is so cool that she has a sister because some day they'll be best friends and can be each other's maids of honor, etc. and she said to me, "Mom, we are already best friends."

Anna is 4 months old!

Anna is 3 months old!

A glimpse into life with an infant

I glanced at the clock and saw that Anna and I would have to leave in a couple minutes to go pick up Elizabeth from preschool.  No problem, since Anna was still sleeping in her car seat from when we dropped Liz off at preschool a couple of hours earlier. 

I should have known better!  Anna decided now was a good time to wake up and insist on eating.  Okay, fine, I'll give her a quick snack, but we have to leave SOON.

So while eating, she pooped.  Of course she did.

She finished eating and I laid her down to change her, knowing full well that she was most likely not finished filling her pants.  While reaching for another wipe.... she pooped again.  All over her clothes. 

I tried my best to get the clothes off of her without spreading poop everywhere.  Then ran back to her room to get clean clothes.  When I got back, I started putting the clothes on only to realize she had spit up and it was all over the back of her head.  At this point, I just laughed.  The laugh-so-you-don't-cry kind of laugh.

I cleaned that up and wiped her off the best I could and got her dressed, stuff her back into her car seat, and we ran out the door.

And guess what?  We STILL weren't the last ones picking up a preschooler!

Anna is 2 months old!

This little girl is such a joy.  I am so lucky to be her mama.

Anna is 1 month old!

My little peanut is a month old already! 

Anna Kathryn has arrived!

Our sweet baby girl is here!  She was born on September 9, 2012 at 5:54 PM.  She weighed 7 lbs 13 oz and was 21.5" long.   Mom did an excellent job writing down details from the day in a special green notebook (even what time Nate had lunch!), but unfortunately that notebook has gone missing.  So I'm going to do my best to remember details.

I ended up being induced.  At my appointment on September 4th, the doctor decided that I didn't need to induce on the 5th like we were tentatively planning.  That was kind of a shock.  But he did want the baby to be born by the end of the weekend.  We went with Sunday just to give me another day to hopefully go naturally.  No such luck.

So on Saturday evening, we took Elizabeth over to Nana and Papa's house to spend the night.  I cried and cried.  I had been super emotional about Elizabeth no longer being an only child and not getting to spend as much time with her.  I'm thrilled for her that she is getting a new baby sister, and she's excited too, but her life is about to change so much.  Then I had to drop her off and couldn't even spend her last night as an only child with her, also knowing that I'd be in the hospital for a few days and wouldn't see her much.  Anyway, I was an emotional wreck. Fun!

Sunday morning we made it over to the hospital almost on time (7:13 AM).  We got the same room at the end of the hallway that we were in when Elizabeth was born! (yay!) 

After getting changed into the hospital gown, the nurse came in to put my IV in.  Wow.  That sucked.  After two unsuccessful attempts in my left hand, I started feeling light headed and nauseous. I didn't actually throw up, but it was close.  I've never had a reaction like that to needles, as much as I hate them.  An older nurse came in to try it on my other hand.  That sucked too, but at least it worked that time.  She said whenever I need an IV, look for the oldest nurse because she has the most experience.

They started the pitocin around 9:30 and contractions started coming regularly an hour or two later.  They were uncomfortable but tolerable. I was able to talk through them and everything. I mostly felt them towards the bottom of my belly.  At one point, after coming back from the bathroom and climbing into bed, I mentioned how I felt like I was leaking.  Could this possibly be amniotic fluid??  I was really stoked that SOMETHING with this labor could be happening naturally!  Someone got the nurse and she tested with some tape thing and said it was negative.  I was bummed.  But then she checked me and said that my water had definitely broken.  She said when she moved her hand, there would be a gush.  And?  There was a gush! Yay!

The contractions started getting more intense and the anesthesiologist came in around 12:30 for my epidural and got done around 1:00.  This actually sucked.  A lot. With Elizabeth, I remember this process being fairly quick and easy.  This time, I had 3 numbing shots (or "bee stings") and he had to try a couple times to find a good spot to put in the epidural because the first spot caused pain on my left side.  At some point, I remember hearing Nate breathing funny, like real quick breaths.  I thought maybe he was trying to get me to mimic his breathing or something, but I had to keep looking down so I couldn't see what he was doing.  After the poking of all the needles was done and he was pretty much just putting in the medicine (or whatever it is they do after poking with all the needles), Nate said something about feeling faint.  I looked up at him and he was white as a ghost.  He almost fainted because he was so worried about me.  (Aww... :)  Not that I wanted him to faint!  The nurse told him to go sit down in the rocking chair.  He kept saying how he felt like a wimp, and I'm the one that needed supported, he held out as long as he could, etc.  What a sweetie. 

So when the epidural didn't really seem to be working, I was pretty upset.  The anesthesiologist came back in after 15-20 minutes with a glove filled with ice and asked how cold it felt on different parts of my legs.  When I didn't feel the cold on the calf of one of my legs he said, "It must be working," and left soon after with instructions to call if we needed anything.  I remember with the epidural I had with Elizabeth, I was feeling much, much better by the time the anesthesiologist left the room.  This time, I was in quite a bit of pain still.  The nurse asked if we should call him back in to try again.  Nope.

However, when the nurse checked me, I felt nothing down there!!  Which is actually a pretty big deal.  Every time my doctor checked me at appointments and when the nurse checked me up til that point, it HURT.  It hurt SO BAD.  Apparently my cervix was waaaay back there.  They had to reach AROUND the baby's head to find the cervix.  I swore my doctor was up to his elbow in there.  It SUCKED.  So when I wasn't able to feel anything after the epidural, I was thrilled.  I still felt every contraction in my abdomen though.

So for the next few hours, I progressed and rested as much as I could with a rude interuption every two minutes.  Shortly before my doctor came in to check me again, all of a sudden I felt nauseous.  I told someone to grab me a puke bag and I got it just in time.  I sat up straight and threw up.  The nurse then said, "We are going to have a baby soon, guys!"  I guess from the way I was acting and the throwing up and stuff, she could tell we were getting close.

I remember telling Nate around 5:20 that this baby had an hour and 40 minutes to get out.  I didn't want to switch nurses half way into pushing like I did with Elizabeth!  (Actually, with Liz, I had the same nurse all day and started pushing at 6:45.  Fifteen minutes later, there was a shift change and I had a new nurse.)

The doctor came in and checked me (if I were to guess, I'd say around 5:30), then said they were going to get some things to set up and then I can push.  I was shocked.  I asked if I was at 10 cm.  He said yep!

Things got even more intense from there.  Everybody was moving quickly.  My abdomen and back HURT really bad and my right hip/leg started hurting so bad with each contraction.  I remember saying to Nate after a particularly bad contraction that, "This is going to suck." All of a sudden, the doctor was instructing my mom how to hold up my leg and telling me to hold my thighs when I'm pushing, etc.  And then I was pushing. I had four people yelling at me to push.  I pushed with everything I had.  But... I couldn't feel it!  I couldn't tell if I was just making intense pushy faces or if I was pushing my guts out.  These four voices were telling me that I was doing great and they could see so much of her head, etc, so apparently I was doing something right.  I just focused on my doctor and what he was saying to me. 

Nate said, "Did you just hear what the nurse said?"  Then he told me that she had been on the phone with someone (no idea who) and said something about how I have one push left.  I said, "What?!"  She nodded.  Okay, maybe I can do this! 

So I pushed one more time and everyone said, "Her head is out!"  And I'm thinking, "Are you freaking kidding me?!?"  Then, just like that, she was out.  After about 3 contractions and maybe 4-5 pushes, my daughter was out!

I remember asking why she wasn't crying. They said she was fine.  After Nate cut the cord, they put her on my chest.  The nurse was picking on her, trying to get her to cry.  Then she took her from me, saying something about how she looked too comfortable.  Meaning she wasn't breathing very well and was turning blue.  They took her over to the infant warmer and picked on her there.  Typically they leave babies on their mama's chest for an hour or so right after they are born, before weighing them or anything.  So it was pretty scary that they had to take her from me.

Mom went over there and I guess pretty much collapsed on the couch.  I told Nate to go over there to be with the baby.  He clearly felt bad about leaving me alone, he kept coming halfway back across the room and turning around, not knowing what to do.  I said that as long as she was fine, I was fine.  I was busy getting stitched up anyway.  (Which hurt not at ALL, by the way.  WAY different than after Elizabeth was born.)  I thought it was sweet that he didn't want to leave me alone though!  They kept assuring me that she was fine and oh so beautiful!

After she was pink enough, they brought her back to me and laid her on my chest. They were right.  This girl was gorgeous.  She has my ear lobes and Nate's toes.  She has Elizabeth's cute little nose.  Lots of dark hair and a perfectly sized abdomen, if I do say so myself.   Then she started rooting around.  It was adorable and shocking!  I moved her over to my breast and she latched on perfectly.  What a good girl.

I love her so much already.